taking care of me
As a licensed independent workplace investigator, I investigate allegations and complaints of discrimination, harassment, violence, and misconduct.
And I love the work that I do because:
The work is challenging. It makes me use my whole brain and it requires a combination of legal and technical skills, intuitive and emotional skills.
The work is a balancing act. I have to be both passionate about the process and compassionate towards the people.
The work is interesting. Investigations are rarely linear and no two investigations are exactly alike.
The work is fulfilling. I believe that the work that I do has a profound impact on the people and the organizations that I serve. I’m put into a great position of trust.
But, a workplace investigation can also be a highly intense, extraordinarily stressful, and emotionally exhausting process for the parties involved, the organization and even for me, the investigator.
I have a huge responsibility to get the investigation right – to do it fairly, thoughtfully and thoroughly. Getting it wrong can mean that someone loses their job when they shouldn’t, or that someone continues to poison the work environment without any consequences or that the organization is put in a position of great risk, including financial liability and reputational damage. It’s not a responsibility that I take lightly.
The reality is that conducting a workplace investigation can be all-consuming. When I’m in the throes of an investigation, I think about the investigation during all my waking hours – in the shower, while I’m making dinner, and while I’m trying to listen to my better half tell me a funny story. Truth be told, most of the time, I also think about the investigation during my non-waking hours and I often find myself dreaming about the process.
I interview people who have endured very traumatic experiences and events, who tell you that they no longer feel “safe” in their workplace or at home, and who tell you just how physically, emotionally and spiritually broken they feel. As an empathetic and compassionate investigator, it’s not possible to be unaffected by the stories that I hear. As an independent, and neutral investigator, it’s essential that I remain diligent and impartial through the process. So how do I balance these competing weights so that I don’t get burned out?
I know it sounds very 2018 to say, but for me, the answer is “self-care” – that is, taking care of my mental, emotional and physical health. Here are the four strategies I use for self-care:
Working out.
For me, working out is the best strategy for helping me to feel calm under pressure, to manage the weight of the duty, responsibility and professional obligation of my job and to relieve some of the stresses that come with the job. When I’m in the midst of an investigation, the days can be chaotic so it’s easy to get distracted and let my workouts slide off my “to-do” list. But I’ve learned (the hard way) that a quick 20-minute ride on the Peloton bike, followed by a quick stretch and 5-minute happiness meditation is the best use of my time. It makes me sweat, it relieves some of my stress and it does wonders for my mental clarity.
Talking it through.
I’m an independent workplace investigator and my company is a team of one. While I really love working on my own, when I’m conducting a particularly complex or traumatic investigation it can sometimes feel a bit overwhelming and lonely. That’s when I call upon my buddy – another workplace investigator that I know, like and trust. She’s very experienced, she has good judgment and I have immense respect for her. In general terms, I step through with her how to navigate a particularly challenging juncture in the investigation or I summarize the key elements of the case and walk her through my thought process, my reasoning and my rationale for coming to the findings and conclusions that I have. She plays the important role of devil’s advocate, fairness fairy and support superhero.
Taking breaks.
My intensive approach to investigations means that I also have limited capacity. Whenever possible, I try to limit the number of investigations that I work on at one time so that I can dedicate the time, energy and attention that they require. And once I close out an investigation, I try to take at least 72-hours off to do all the things that I’ve neglected during an investigation, such as catching up on laundry, knitting badly, reading a book, binge-watching a show on Netflix or attempting a new recipe using my Instant Pot (which still blows my mind – literally and figuratively). Once I’ve reset myself and I feel like a human again, I’m ready to rinse and repeat.
Saying no.
This one’s really, really hard for me. I love the work that I do so I don’t love disappointing clients that need help, and I don’t love turning down interesting cases, but sometimes I have to say “no” to taking on a new investigation. The most common reasons that I’ve had to say no are because:
I’ve already got too much on my plate and know that I don’t have the time or capacity to give the investigation what it needs
I know that I need some time – to reset, to feel reenergized, or to unblock the blocks
I know the client wants the investigation conducted in a way that doesn’t align with best practices or my values
For me, these self-care strategies are analogous to putting on my own oxygen mask before assisting others during an in-flight emergency. I know that I need to take care of myself before I can (and so that I can) help others.
December 1, 2020
Saira Gangji is an independent licensed Workplace Investigator at hrology in Calgary, AB. She investigates allegations of discrimination and human rights, harassment, violence and misconduct in the workplace. For more information about hrology and our process, see the work with me page.