A few weeks ago, on my regularly scheduled commute from Calgary to Toronto, I got to talking to my seat-mate who had recently graduated from a marketing degree program and was about to enter the workforce.  She was what I refer to as “fresh blood” – she was young, green and so genuinely excited about her future that she was practically vibrating in her seat.  She was excited about her new job, she was untouched by disengagement, she wasn’t jaded by workplace politics…heck, she was even excited about all the podcasts that she would listen to during her 45-minute one-way commute every day (ha! let’s see how long that enthusiasm lasts…). Did I say seatmate?  I meant unicorn.  I was sitting next to a unicorn :)

In any case, I got to chat with this unicorn, and she told me the story of how she had two amazing job offers from two very cool companies.  

Nosy HR Lady (me): What made you choose the Company that you did?

Unicorn:  Culture (insert smug smile).

Nosy HR Lady: Tell. Me. More. Please. (insert pleading voice, as Nosy HR Lady is also a bit of a #culturegeek).

Unicorn proceeds to tell me all about how many cool perks the Company offered (which made my heart plummet like hitting an air pocket, in flight).

It got me thinking…these days, there are a ton of cool (and CRAZY) perks being offered by organizations of all sizes. Here are a few examples and had me doing a double take:

1.  Concierge Services:  Imagine that you come into work and drop off your dirty laundry by 10:00 a.m. and the laundry fairies have it washed and folded, ready for you in a personalized bag by the time you come into work the following day?  Also included?  A fairy that will do your grocery shopping and deliver it to your home, take your car in for servicing, stand in line for you to get the hottest concert tickets, and even a fairy that will CLEAN your HOUSE twice a month.  These “mommy” services are included in your ever-growing menu of perks.

2.  Overly Pet-Friendly Workplaces:  And I don’t just mean bring-your-dog-to-work days. I mean, bring-your-dog-to-work EVERYday, and we’ll walk your dog twice a day, feed your dog (meals and snacks), pick up the doggy doodoo, get your dog groomed for you and cover your dog’s health insurance too.  Not only that, but if your pet goes to “the farm”, we’ll give you pet bereavement leave too.

3.  Wellness Services:  Some companies offer gourmet meals and have award-winning chefs on staff, they offer their employees yoga on-site, acupuncture & free herbal supplements onsite, massages on-site, a gym and personal training on-site, and even HAIR-CUTS on-site (wait, what the what?) Another company offers employees a fleet of yachts to use in their spare time (you know, when they’re not grocery shopping or walking their dog or getting a haircut).

4.  Creative Services:  At one “creative company” employees are eligible for up to $150 per year to go get a TATTOO.  The only catch being that the tattoo should not be on their face…hmmmm.  Another company offers their employees an annual clothing allowance of $500.  And yet another company supports employees who leave their company to start their own businesses – they offer their blessing AND financial investment or support in raising venture capital (that’s what is meant by leaving on “good terms”).

5.  “Family-Friendly” Perks:  Some companies pay for their female employees to freeze their eggs, another gives parents of newborns $4,000 in “baby cash”, still another company will reimburse any full-time employee for their wedding of up to $20,000, and another well-known company (that rhymes with frugal) gives surviving spouses or partners 50% of the deceased employees salary for TEN years.

So while these are all decidedly, mind-numbingly AMAZING perks, they are NOT culture.  You can read my musings on what workplace culture is here.  Culture ≠ perks.  Perks are sweeteners, but they are NOT culture.  Your culture is not defined by whether you have a ping-pong table, free snacks, a beer fridge, onsite massages or a nap room (although, seriously, that would be life-changing).  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking perks. Perks can enhance culture, but they are by no means a substitute for culture.  Perks can attract people to an organization, but they won’t keep people at an organization. Unlimited free snacks won’t make up for a toxic, high stress working culture.

Nosy HR Lady to Unicorn:  A word of advice:  Don’t just get wooed by the company that offers some of the crazy, sexy, perks - some perks are analogous to putting lipstick on a pig – strip off the lipstick, and you still have a pig.  Find out if the company takes “care” of their employees – as in – respects them, coaches them, develops them, shares information transparently (the good, the bad, and even the ugly) with them, recognizes their accomplishments and supports them in their struggles, because that’s what REAL culture is.

be happy, be well,

saira